Everyone yearns for love. And true love can never be denied. It can be found anywhere, in even the most unlikely of situations. "From the first moment I saw her, it was love at first sight," said a man who has met the love of his dreams. "I had been feeling very lonely for a long time. My love life was terrible. And I was getting rejected a lot. OK, I was getting rejected all of the time. I finally gave up, & ended up in a porn shop."
Why a porn shop?
"I don't know. It was very strange. Almost like a voice in my head telling me to go in there. That my destiny was in there. Anyway, I was roaming the aisles, looking at all the strange things there. I never knew such things even existed. Some of that stuff looks like it belongs in a sci-fi movie. Or a horror movie. Or maybe one of those gladiator type movies. I almost left."
What caused you to stay?
"Well, suddenly, I had the strangest feeling. Like I was being watched. I turned around. And there she was. The most beautiful, most loving face I had ever seen. Sitting on a shelf. She was in a shrink wrapped package. And she was staring right at me. Her mouth formed a wide 'O.' As though she was trying to say, 'Oh! It's you! I finally found you!' She had a look of extreme surprise, happiness, & excitement. Like she had found the one she had been searching for all her life. I must have had the same look on my face, too. Neither one of us said a word. Nothing needed to be said. It was like we each knew what the other was thinking. And there was no doubt about our feelings toward each other. It was love at first sight. True love. The romance I had been searching for all my life."
What did you do next?
"I carefully pulled her off the shelf & paid for her. She was kind of expensive, but worth every dime. I mean, what's more important than love? Money means nothing compared to true love. Anyway, I hurried home & got her out of that box. I could tell she was very relieved to be free from that shrink wrapped box. It took me a long time to inflate her, but I was happy to do it. It was an act of love. She filled out very nicely, as though she was coming to life. When I was done I turned her around. She stared into my eyes with such love, such passion, such gratitude. And she seemed to be trying to say, 'Oh, yes!' Ever since then, we've been inseparable."
So how is your love life now?
"Oh, it's better than ever. She's very good. I never knew I could have a love life like this. She's always in the mood, too. She always has an expression on her face that says, 'Oh, yes! Take me, baby! I'm yours!' She's the best lover I've ever had." He smiled & added, "Beyond that is none of your business."
Do you ever take her out on a date?
"I sure do. She loves going out. I've taken her out on several dates. We always get stared at, & sometimes even laughed at. But I'm not ashamed to be with my true love. And it's not very expensive. She doesn't eat very much. I usually just order a small salad for her. Although I always end up eating it."
Have there been any problems?
"Well, every relationship has problems, I guess. Several nights ago I said something to her, & she seemed to withdraw. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong. Then the next day, I could tell she wasn't feeling well. She wasn't herself. And she was losing weight. A lot of weight, in fact. I got very worried about her because she was looking terrible. Almost like she was dying. I almost called 911. But I figured out what was wrong. She had gotten a tiny hole somehow, & was leaking air. I patched her up & inflated her back to her original size. She was back to her normal self. It was like a miraculous healing. Since then everything has been great. It was right after that that I popped the question. I asked her to marry me. I even found a pastor who will marry us. On an internet site."
But why an inflatable doll? Why not a real woman?
"I tried that years ago. It just doesn't work for me. The few times I wasn't rejected, I ended up on dates that went nowhere. And women don't listen. They just want to talk. That's one of the things I love most about my fiance. She actually listens to me. She's a great listener. And she lets me do all the talking. I can talk to her for hours, & she'll just stare at me with those wide eyes & listen. With an expression on her face that says, 'Oh, I see. I understand.' I've never dated anyone who actually listens to me, & cares. We have a connection. She completes me, & I've never been happier."