An aggressive organization that is hostile to Christmas is trying to put an end to the holiday that so many Americans love to celebrate. "No, we're not the Grinches who stole Christmas," said the president & founder of the ACLO, the Anti Christmas Lobbying Organization. "And I'm not Scrooge. We just want people to stop using phrases that are rude & insulting, like, 'Merry Christmas.' And to stop celebrating a holiday that violates the Constitution. All we want is to eliminate Christmas. Is that too much to ask?"
But why? What harm can there be in celebrating Christmas? And how does it violate the Constitution?
"Celebrating Christmas is an abuse of religion. Christmas is a Christian holiday. Those who celebrate Christmas are openly displaying their religious beliefs to the rest of the world. They're brazenly flaunting their religious beliefs, in fact. But what about those of us who don't believe in Jesus? Those who celebrate Christmas are practicing their religion in public, which is clearly unconstitutional. It's just not right. It's a violation of the separation of church & estate."
You mean church & state. But isn't religious freedom guaranteed by the Constitution?
"Yes it is. But that freedom ends when the lives of others are at stake. A good example is a very bad day I had once. It was in December. I went to a Walmart store. And a lady near the front door said, 'Merry Christmas.' I felt insulted. It was a very RUDE thing to say! I almost didn't buy anything, I was so mad. And then after I left, I almost got in an accident! Because of Christmas! I drove by a house which had a manger scene right in the front yard, surrounded by Christmas lights. It was disgusting. I almost ran off the road while looking at it. I mean, I can handle a lot of things. But that's way over the top! It's just horrific! I felt nauseous, & totally violated. Why couldn't they display a religious symbol that's HARMLESS? Something that's ACCEPTABLE in public? Like a sacrificial altar, or something?"
Wasn't it on private property? Isn't it the homeowner's right to display a manger scene on his or her own property?
"The private property rights of homeowners end when the lives of others are at risk. A good example is if a homeowner was to dump radioactive waste on his property. Or if a homeowner was to start a fire on his property & leave, only to have it burn down the entire neighborhood."
But a manger scene isn't radioactive waste, or a wildfire. What harm can displaying the baby Jesus do to anyone?
"It can do a LOT of harm, in fact. It's dangerous! A manger scene almost caused me to wreck my car! And it's a highly threatening act. It divides people, & causes animosity & hatred. A manger scene is one of those goofy Christian things. It's a threat to all the non-Christians. It says to everyone that Christians are right, & everyone else is wrong. That's very arrogant. A manger scene is a blatant, violent attack on everyone who is not a Christian. And violence causes more violence to happen. Christians are asking for violence when they put a manger scene up. And causing accidents. They're just asking for trouble. How dare they? It's especially annoying to atheists like myself. I mean, only idiots believe in God or Jesus."
Wow. So does the ACLO also want to eliminate other religious holidays?
"Absolutely not! America was founded on certain principles. One of the strongest of these principles is freedom of religion. People are entitled to practice their religious beliefs without any interference from anyone, either from the government or from any private group. We honor that right. It's right in the Constitution."
So Christianity alone is being targeted?
"We're not targeting Christianity. We're just trying to stop the ABUSES of Christianity. We're just trying to eliminate Christmas. Openly displaying a manger scene is an abuse of Christianity, perpetrated by wacko extremists. By wacko Christians who are trying to force the rest of us to believe what THEY believe. That's wrong!"
Have you ever seen 'A Christmas Carol?'
"Just once or twice. Awful movie. Although it did have a good message. Scrooge had it right. Before he was changed by all that Christmas spirit nonsense. He was a good businessman. He was a serious, productive adult. He was successful. Rich even. He was frugal. Before those 3, stupid Christmas ghosts changed him. Then he turned goofy on Christmas morning, & started wasting his money trying to help others. It makes me sick. The message was how a good businessman was psychologically altered. Only to plunge into the dark depths of dementia & insanity. It was more like a horror movie."
So since you want people to stop saying, 'Merry Christmas,' what does the ACLO recommend for a Christmas greeting?
"We recommend saying, 'Happy Holidays.' Or, 'Have a nice December.' Or just comment on the weather, like, 'It sure is cold.' Or just skip it altogether & say, 'Happy New Year.' The New Year holiday isn't a wacko Christian thing."
So what else is the ACLO doing to eliminate Christmas, besides getting the word out to the media?
"Lots of things. But right now I'm feeling very nauseous. I've mentioned the 'C' word so many times, just for this news piece. I can't say the 'C' word anymore."
Which one? Christmas, or Christianity?
"Uh, both. I just can't take this anymore. I need to take a shower. I feel so dirty all over."
Well, Merry Christmas to you anyway.
"Ouch. Thanks for the insult. I'm never talking to you again. You sound like one of those wacko extremists. You need professional help. I can recommend a good psychiatrist. There must be some good drugs that can help you with your problem."