Howdy, y'all. I was drivin' around the other day & saw a pair of underpants layin' in the middle of the road. I had to do the right thing & pick 'em up. Though now I wish I hadn't. But like ma says, hindsight is always 20/200. I want to keep this anonymous. But I'm sure they belong to Billy Bob. They got lots of holes in 'em. Big ones, too. And they probably ain't been washed in over a month! They sure smell like it, anyway. And they got lots of stains in 'em. Different colors, too.
Hey, Billy Bob, it's me. I got your underpants. I know you ain't got too many pairs of underpants, so you'd better come get 'em. You know where I live. I'm just down the road from you & Bubba. I got your underpants out in the yard, standin' in the corner, as far away from the house as possible. My dog won't go near 'em. And he loves chewin' on clothes & such. He was even barkin' at 'em, like he does at a trespasser. Dammit, Billy Bob, I ain't smelled anything as bad as them underpants! You'd better come get 'em. Before I burn 'em. I'm tired of gaggin' every time I go out in my yard!