Magnificent splendor can be yours! Live in total luxury. Check out this large, beautiful mansion in the upper class section of town. It's the largest one on Champagne Boulevard. It's the only mansion sitting on an entire block. The first thing you'll notice is a beautiful, wrought iron fence surrounding the entire property. Look through it, & you'll see a large, bright green, well cared for lawn. The kind you only see at golf courses. You'll also see a long, private driveway. Which leads to the incredibly deluxe mansion, sitting gracefully in the middle of the property.
It's a vision of sheer beauty & grandeur. This large, magnificent mansion is so beautiful it will take your breath away. The exterior is painted classic ivory. It has Roman style columns, & is at least 5 stories high. It has more rooms than you could ever count. If you could ever get inside. And if you did get inside, you'd probably need a GPS to navigate inside the mansion with, so you don't get lost.
Now that I have your attention, check out the house I have for sale. It's only 17 blocks north of the mansion, at the opposite end of town. It's on the other side of the train tracks, near the landfill. It's a way cool mobile home, painted a beautiful orange & brown. It's a cozy, single wide trailer home. You can't miss it. It's the one with all the auto parts in the yard. OK, the one with the most auto parts in the yard. Just look for the one with the large, bright orange trash cans in front of the house. And the pink flamingos in front of the trash cans. Make me an offer!