I really didn't want to do this. I didn't want to place this ad. But my mom interrupted me again, right in the middle of a video game. She told me it's not normal for a 38 year old man to be playing video games at home instead of dating. Can you believe that? Who does she think she is? My mother? OK, she is my mother. But I'm totally normal!
Yes, I've been single all my life. But what's wrong with that? It's allowed me to focus on my passion. Video games & computer games. My friends think I'm totally cool, too! I usually get the highest scores. I'm the MAN! So why do I need a woman? Just because my mom says I do? Besides, there's plenty of time for me to do that later. After I get a career or something, someday.
I'm not a slacker, though! I'm just in between jobs. But it's not my fault! There aren't any jobs nearby that meet my standards. Just nasty ones that are beneath my dignity, & don't pay enough. Besides, I've been way too busy killing space aliens & monsters. If you saw all the horrific creatures I've come up against & totally vanquished, you'd be impressed! I've even made it all the way up to the highest levels!
So please do me a favor. Just go out with me once. So my mom can stop worrying, & see that I'm normal. It would make her really happy. And get her off my back. If you don't want to go out on the town, you can just meet me at home. I'm in the basement. Just tell my mom you're here to see me. My mom will even cook dinner for us. That might be better anyway, since I'd be able to impress you with my video & computer game prowess. So come on over. And make my mom happy. Please? She's driving me nuts.