I need a woman! Now! Single man, 55 years old, never married. In dire need of a woman. Must be a good cook like Ma is. Must clean house & do laundry like Ma does. Must do the dishes & take out the trash like Ma does. Must have a job, since I don't. Must have your own home, since I'll be homeless real soon. Reply immediately! Ma's really pissed, & says I gotta move out. Hurry!