I was just an average, normal woman. I was never considered psychic in any way. Nor did I have any desire to become psychic. Looking back on it now, I understand that the psychic world is a calling that chooses YOU. Or me, in this case. It all began on a sunny day. I was out in my yard, standing under my favorite tree. I was looking at the large branch I had tried to saw off the day before, because it was dead. Suddenly a huge gust of wind came from out of nowhere, & I heard a loud snap. I looked up just in time to see the large branch falling right on me. Before I could move, it hit my head, dropping me to the ground, knocking me out cold. I remember seeing stars for 1-2 seconds prior to losing consciousness. Beautiful, multi-colored stars that danced around my head. Pretty, little twinkling stars, which faded to darkness.
After being unconscious for a few hours, I finally came to. I slowly got up, steadied myself, took a deep breath, & staggered back to the house. While staggering back, I thought to myself, "This must be a sign. Something is happening." I finally made it into the house, & decided to take a nice, warm bath to recover. I ran a small amount of warm water into the bathtub, & started to get in. Unfortunately, my balance hadn't quite returned to normal yet. I slipped & fell in. Again, I saw those beautiful stars. They danced around my head even more vigorously than before. But this time, I was lucky. I didn't lose consciousness. All I got was a slightly bruised ego, & a slightly throbbing rear end. "This must be another sign," I thought. "Something is definitely going on. Something strange. But wonderful."
I tried to get up out of the bathtub. I grabbed at something, anything, to try to pull myself up. Unfortunately, it was a small lamp. It fell into the bathtub. I then saw the most amazing display of sparks. My entire body shook with strange, new sensations that I had never felt before. I flopped around like a fish for 1-2 seconds. Like a trout, I think. I just love trout! There's nothing better than fresh trout. Or maybe I flopped around more like a bass. I'm a little bigger than a trout. OK, a lot bigger. Actually, I'm bigger than a bass, too. Anyway, I was flopping around in the bathtub like a fish. Fortunately, my flopping around pulled the cord right out, so I didn't get hurt. But I did see those beautiful stars again. Only this time, they were brighter than ever! They raced around me in circles, at lightning speed. It was another beautiful vision. And my whole body felt energized & electrified!
I slowly managed to crawl carefully up out of the bathtub. I sat down on the toilet to collect my thoughts. Unfortunately, the toilet seat was up & I slipped partly down into the toilet bowl. Fortunately, my rear end is a little on the large side, & my newfound luck held firm. So I only sank partly down into the toilet bowl. Unfortunately, as I struggled to extract myself from being stuck inside the toilet, the vibrations knocked a vase down from the shelf over the toilet. It hit my head, & again I saw those beautiful stars. I also heard the toilet flushing. I watched the bathroom race around in circles, & felt the cold water from the toilet lovingly massage my rear end. It was like the toilet was actually talking to me! The toilet was telling me something important! This was clearly another sign that something wonderful was happening.
And that's when it hit me. Like a lightning bolt from out of the blue. My jaw dropped, my eyes widened, & I trembled all over from the sudden, awesome realization. "I'm PSYCHIC now," I thought to myself. "I'm a real psychic! I have psychic powers!" I don't how I knew. I just KNEW. Because of all the signs. I knew that I had become a genuine psychic! It was the only possible explanation! From that day on my whole life was changed. I began using my new psychic powers every chance I got. I also began making predictions, which all came true! I believe that everything happens for a reason. And even though that day was a painful one, it brought me good fortune. From crisis came opportunity. Now I'm the official psychic for a great website. I'm even considered by some to be the psychic of psychics. What an honor that is! And ever since that fateful day, I've never looked back.