So you've decided to try hunting, but you have NO idea how to do it. This amazing manual for beginners will show you everything you need to know! This guide for hunters is in full compliance with the latest government hunting regulations. It's very easy to read, with very large print, & lots of pictures & diagrams. It's just like a comic book. In fact, it IS a comic book. This important manual includes the following features:
1) A full chapter devoted entirely to guns. How to tell the difference between a real gun & a toy gun. The difference between a little gun, a big gun, & a really big gun. How to load a gun in a single afternoon, & where to put the bullets. What a bullet is. Which end to shoot with. How to pull the trigger. When to pull the trigger. What you can shoot, such as deer, game, & empty beer cans. What you CAN'T shoot, such as cows, horses, people, houses, cars, trucks, gas cans, fuel storage tanks, & beer cans that haven't been opened.
2) How to track animals. The difference between deer tracks, bear tracks, & cow tracks. The difference between people tracks, tire tracks, & train tracks. How to tell the difference between deer droppings, bear droppings, cow manure & people droppings. Special tip shows you how to tell by taste alone.
3) What kind of beer to bring. The difference between cheap beer & really cheap beer. The difference between a nasty beer & a nasty bear. Full page charts to calculate how far you can hike with a 6 pack, a 12 pack, & a full case. How to tell when a beer can is completely empty, so you can shoot it.
4) What else to bring. In addition to a gun, beer, & this hunting manual, you should have the following items with you. At least 2 cans of bright orange spray paint, so you can mark your path & find your way back. A boombox, so you can crank up the tunes while you're hunting. At least 6 rolls of facial quality toilet paper, preferably extra soft, colored & scented. Electric blanket, just in case you get lost & can't make it back to your vehicle before nightfall. DVDs & a portable DVD player, so you'll be able to survive the night without going crazy.
This amazing manual will enable you to hunt like an expert hunter, even if you have NO idea what you're doing. Don't even think about going hunting before reading it!